One of those days.

I'm having one of those days where there is nothing to do, and I feel... drained in a way. It feels like I have no emotions at all, and to be honest it scares me slightly. I've felt like this for years, having no emotions and such, but the last few months I seemed to be free of it.

I guess I wasn't.

I honestly don't know what to do about it, but then again; it is something I am quite used to. It doesn't matter, it's just me after all.

Strange part is; it's not like I'm in a deep, depressing thinking mode or anything. I just feel empty, maybe some far-away sense of anger is deep within my gut as well and I don't even know why.
Also, two friends are coming over today. They're on the bus right now, but I am starting to feel regret for having invited them. Not because I don't want to hang out with them, I do! I love them like my sisters, but I feel like I will harm one of them. I'm scared I will say something to hurt her, like I often do without thinking, and I find myself scared of being judged again.

Some days I just... I just feel like I don't want to be near other people. Today is a day like so, I wanna bury myself in my pillows and duvet, hiding away from humanity and just force myself to cry it all out.
I haven't had too well contact with these friends of mine lately, as it's been slowing down... I don't know what to talk about, what to do at all.

I wanna fall asleep and just.. never wake up again at the moment. At least not for a while.

- Ai